The First Date Conundrum… Who Pays?
Let’s get this resolved once and for all!
Who pays for a first date? Guy or girl?
This debate has been raging on and on for YEARS on dating advice forums with everyone having their own opinion and reasons for taking one side or the other.
The answer really should be obvious, right? At least I hope so!
If we’re talking about a real date and not a first meet from the Internet, then obviously the man needs to act like one and pick up the bill!
I still remember sitting with a bunch of guys at a dating advice seminar several years back listening to our fearless leader, a very intelligent adviser on the subject of Men’s issues, tell everyone that you should ALWAYS go dutch on a first date.
Most guys in the room couldn’t believe their ears! One woman, who was there as a guest speaker, stood up immediately and demanded that he explain his controversial view on the subject.
So he started to explain his position and he suggested that it raises a man’s value and shows that he isn’t trying to kiss her ass… that he’s not trying too hard to impress her.
This didn’t even make sense to me and I was totally on the side of the bewildered woman who was trying to digest his comment.
Listen, I’m all for men being MEN and not supplicating and kissing ass but not paying for a first date does nothing more than expose you as a CHEAP ASS and you won’t be getting a second date, that’s for sure!
I remember a chat I had years ago with a woman online and asking her opinion about paying for first dates. Her answer was very interesting in that she said the man should always pay because when he does, it makes her “feel like a lady.”
What she’s saying is that she wants to “feel like a lady” as much as she wants the man to “be a MAN.”
Going dutch on a first date not only diminishes her femininity but it also lowers a man’s value making him appear too cheap.
This is why a guy should always pay for a first date, but here’s the good news… the first date doesn’t have to be an expensive, elaborate dinner!
More on that later…
Now let’s talk about first meets from the Internet.
As I’ve said before in other articles, there’s a HUGE difference between a first date and a first offline meet.
Whereas the man should always pay for a first date, that does not apply to first meets.
The standard rule for first meets with a woman you met online is to go dutch. There’s nothing wrong with that and it’s actually expected.
Remember, first meets are not real dates… they’re simply casual get togethers you would do with a friend.
When you go out with a buddy, who pays?
Both of you! Unless you lost a bet!
Same thing applies with first meets… go dutch. Now there are a few exceptions to this rule.
Say you go out to a lounge with a woman and you have three beers and some appetizers and she only had one iced tea. In this case it’s NOT desirable to go dutch since you accumulated most of the bill.
Just cover the whole bill… pick up the tab. Don’t stare at the check and ask her for two dollars. That’s lame and will lower your value.
Cheap guys are a BIG turnoff! Almost as much as “creepy” or “pervy” guys.
So to sum up… a MAN pays for a “First Date.” However on a first meet from the Internet, go dutch.
Simple as that and just like that, the debate is DEAD!
Now earlier I mentioned that a first date doesn’t have to be expensive. This is TRUE if you know how to get creative when picking first date locations. In fact, I’ve had first dates where I didn’t really pay for anything at all – and NO – I didn’t ask her to pick up the tab!
In my ebook, “Internet Dating Mastery,” I reveal my secret list of first date ideas that don’t involve spending lots of money.
I NEVER go to expensive steak restaurants anymore and I can’t believe I used to think I HAD to do that. In fact, I’ve been on first dates where I didn’t even leave the house!! You won’t believe how I orchestrate them! Let’s just say, getting her back to my place isn’t even an issue.
You can download a FREE preview of my ebook by going here:
Questions? Comments? What do you think? Should men be paying for first dates?
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